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This blog has now moved to http://tomeemayeepa.wordpress.com/

You will not be directed to it automatically so that you can be free to return to downloading stuff on Paris Hilton if you wish.


If you want to follow the link you find more episodes of 'Breakfast with the Blairs' plus rib-tickling posts on cultural diversity, John Prescott and the problem of evil plus many others. 


28.8.06 13:57

Muslims not to be treated as ‘patsies’

‘Muslim MPs will warn John Prescott today that they will not be treated as “patsies” to defend unpopular foreign policies in Iraq and Lebanon… Inayat Bunglawala, spokesman for the Muslim Council of Britain, who attended a session on extremism, said: “We accepted on our side there are issues with extremism. However, we need better to understand how it is otherwise ordinary young minds are becoming radicalised.” ‘
Not being familiar with English slang around the world, I looked up ‘patsy’ in the dictionary and found this:

“The term is widely regarded as an ethnic slur, being a term of abuse for recent migrants from rural Ireland, among whom nickname Patsy (for Patrick) was relatively common.” Muslim community making “ethnic slurs”? Surely not! Why, also, I wonder, do the British Muslims choose to use American slang- is there a broad hint there?

Alternatively, they might have been showing their familiarity with British culture and meant ‘pasties’ as in Cornish pasties, presumably on the basis that they didn’t want to be heated up and swallowed along with a pint of Tetley’s.

By the way, I admire the use of the phrase “there are issues with extremism”, a nice way of putting it and showing that the community already has a good command of Blairspeak.

21.8.06 00:34

into the sunset

Readers of this blog (both of them) will be aware of the esteem and admiration in which we hold our Deputy Prime Minister. It would therefore be remiss of us not to compliment him on his astute and eloquently phrased assessment of US foreign policy and the abilities of Mr Bush in particular.

We can exclusively reveal Mr Bush’s replies when confronted with this devastating blow.

Bush: Who is this fruitcake anyway?

Aide: He says he’s deputy Prime Minister.

Bush: Well, tell him you don’t squat with your spurs on. And one more thing. Tell him to go and swallow a horn-toad backwards.

We can also report that when told, Mr Blair’s comment was “that man’s so dumb he couldn’t hit an ass’s butt with a banjo”

21.8.06 00:32

Breakfast at the Blairs 6

From the street outside there is the sound of a soca band giving an upbeat rendering of the Cliff Richards classic ‘ A voice in the wilderness’.

Mrs B (casting her eye over the morning papers) oh dear,
hostilities broken out again…. flagrant violation of cease fire….. renewed attacks …. retaliation.. oh dear oh dear

Mr B (with mouth full of finest Sainsbury’s sausage specially flown in in an RAF Hercules) Well, what do you expect with Hizbollah?

Mrs B Actually, darling, this is the Guardian article on the splits in the Labour party.

Mr. B Pass me the ketchup would you love

Mrs B And someone has called George a ‘crap President who can’t even wear a Stetson straight’

Mr B Some other so-called liberal humanitarian hack, no doubt

Mrs B No, darling, actually it was your Deputy Prime Minister….. Never mind, darling, the boy will wipe it up.

21.8.06 00:31

Today's obituaries

"The 3rd Lord Kilbracken, who died yesterday aged 85, hit the headlines in 1957 when he succeeded in gatecrashing the Great Red Square parade in Moscow on the 40th anniversary of the October uprising, wearing a pink Leander tie and with his trousers turned inside out. Kilbracken managed an interview with Khrushchev by posing as a photographer and gatecrashing a reception at the Egyptian embassy which Khrushchev was attending. He managed to engage Khrushchev in conversation for nearly half an hour, and the crowd around them became so great at one point that they ended up crushed together, belly to belly." (Daily Telegraph)

DIKA NEWLIN found notoriety as the oldest punk rocker in the business when she dyed her hair bright orange and sang with a rock band at an age when most of her contemporaries were already drawing their pensions. It was an improbable coda to a distinguished career as a composer, musicologist and university professor which had begun when she was a student of Arnold Schoenberg in the 1940s.She never married but lived in a house full of cats, reportedly sleeping on a mattress on the floor with a medieval suit of armour dangling from the ceiling. (Times)

I also liked the obituary of the ex-officer who had led several daring escapes during the second world war. "A tall, jolly man with an explosive temperament, he dismissed Henry Moore's sculptures as "ugly" and never forgot his duty an officer. After going into a retirement home, he escaped twice."

21.8.06 00:21

those UK threat levels

LOW Prescott is asleep, totally sidelined or dead

MODERATE It is possible, though unlikely, that Prescott will do something

SUBSTANTIAL Prescott has woken up and is threatening to go to work

SEVERE It is highly likely that Prescott will make a public appearance or write a letter to the Express

CRITICAL Prescott expected to start interfering any minute

14.8.06 00:50

red rag to a bull

I am baffled by the Government's attempts to rebuff the argument that Britain's Middle East policy has increased the threat of terrorist attacks.

Ministers put forward four arguments yesterday:

1. terrorists had targeted countries with a range of foreign policies.

on the scale of the threat to the UK?

2. No government worth its salt should allow its foreign policy to be dictated to under the threat of terrorism

Does that mean you ignore the consequences of your foreign policy? You can still stick to a policy (however misguided) while recognising the impact it has had.

3. 'Let's put the blame where it belongs: with people who wantonly want to take innocent lives.

Obviously, blame and ultimate responsibility rests there. No one disputes that. But that doesn't alter the fact that the policy is encouraging the violence.

4.We should always remember that the terrorism affecting the West today has blighted Muslim countries for several decades.'

Yes, but not the UK- that's what we are talking about.

The Government's response seems to me like waving a red rag and claiming that has no effect on the bull. Ministers are, in fact, saying:

1. Bulls have annoyed people who don't wave red flags
2. I'm not going to stop waving the flag to please the bull
3. It's the bull's fault
4. Bulls have been agressive in different places for many years.

14.8.06 00:29

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